Funniest Things About Donald Trump

 America speaks. The funniest thing about Donald Trump is:
                                            
  Hair Hair Hair!!!

1. "This pic."
–@nightoatmeal

2. "The hair, obviously the hair."–@stevematic

3. "He looks like someone turned Conan O'Brien upside down."–@HombreDulceCA

4. "It's like that earwig thing from Wrath of Khan."–@vertov

5. "His commitment to overcomb any obstacle."–@SkyCorgan

6. "When he takes his wig off, he's Sepp Blatter."
–@willcusack

Ed. Note: Good catch.

7. "His hair is like cotton candy. If cotton candy were made of piss."–@JamesOpieLiving

8. "The uncanny similarity between this moth and his hair."
–@hkvibez

A great many people brought up the resemblance, which I believe was first noted by The Daily Mail, between Trump's iconic mane-over and the South American Flannel Moth caterpillar. It's maybe the best "separated at birth" ever. Worth noting, as well, about the Flannel Moth:

9. "Per Wikipedia, 'This is a very toxic caterpillar that you should never touch.'"
–@superguppy

10. (Retweeting the caterpillar pic): "Anyone else thinking Flock of Seagulls?"
–@randallwrites

11. "He bought a compass so his brush would correctly comb his hair forward."–@VaughanFamularo

12. (Retweeted the classic Time.com graphic "The Secret to Donald Trump's Hair.")
–@slonews

That Time.com graphic was really an outstanding piece of journalism. One hopes they consulted MIT physicists to check the feasibility of their design model.

13. "A tossup… between his hair and his thinking he has a chance of being elected President."–@tompainejr12

14. "The potential headlines & jabs: 'Trump: he can do to America what he did to Atlantic City!'"–@ringcycles

Recall this excerpt from Gawker about the closing of the Trump casino in AC. Trump's shoreline paradise makes Gary, Indiana, seem like Paris or The Hague:

"A few hours before its scheduled 6 a.m. Tuesday closing time, the Trump Plaza was even emptier than the night before.

'It's dead,' said Jessie, a 22-year-old parking attendant at the casino. 'You don't feel the warmth it used to have.'

Upstairs on the floor, employees gathered in the center near the gaming tables, hugged each other and chatted. A cocktail waitress used a napkin to wipe away tears as she carried a drink tray around to the slot machines, but only a few players remained at the slots. None that I saw ordered drinks.

Two men gambled at the one open blackjack table until the last minute. The house won both last hands with two straight blackjacks."

15. "That he derides poor people with 'If I can do it, you can,' while carefully avoiding the fact he was handed 10 million to start."–@greecebaII

Ed. Note: Trump's inheritance was actually a little bigger than that.

16. "He teaches seminars about how to be successful. Lesson #1: be Fred Trump's son."–@Josh1938

17. "How he claims to be a great businessman but has bankrupted like 10 different companies."–@big_bear_mn

The real number is four, according to most reports.

18. "I have to go with the investigators he sent to Hawaii. Are they still there?"–@randy_ratliffKC

Trump said at the time he sent his Mystery Machine crew to the islands, "I can't believe what they're finding." Not many others did, either, as it turned out.

19. "He's talking about ‪@Oprah as a running mate."
–@JeffreyGuterman

Trump dropped a number of bombshells yesterday, including this one: He announced he was thinking of adding the talk titan to the ticket. Oprah has yet to comment.

20. "His idea about building a wall of Mexico and charging them for it."–@heatherbelle585

The Great Wall was another outstanding plank of Trump's announcement speech. We can only hope it will be called the Great Wall of Trump.

21. "He thinks 'bigly' is a word."
–@RhythmRuler